Poison, Putin, and Playing for the Cup

Контент 18 + I guess I am one of those guys who doesn’t know how to take anything seriously. You know, one of those clowns who grins like a fool while everyone else is glowering with stony seriousness. Who actually spends time thinking of ridiculous things to say to his partner in a restaurant to explain that he needs to go to the toilet. Who believes that a great loud fart is an ultimate equalizer in any social situation.

Well, that’s just me. It’s why, when I heard about the alleged radiation poisoning of those Russians in London the other day, my first reaction was to wonder how it would affect England’s participation in the World Cup. Not that it matters, since they are as bad at football as the Russians. (And it’s no use pointing to the once-vaunted Premier Division to try and prove me wrong; it is merely propped up by foreign players. Leave the English to their own devices and they can’t beat….Iceland.)
But that’s the first thought that came to mind. And the second one was this: how could the Russians be so stupid as to use a poisonous substance known to be solely a product of the Soviet Union in order to eliminate someone? Have they never heard of guns? With silencers? And why in the world did these people need to be attacked in the first place? It was like something out of a third-rate movie.

So now, although one must, as a technicality, admit the point that so far nothing has been proven absolutely, we find ourselves in a situation similar to that when Russian weaponry was held to be responsible for shooting down a commercial airliner from Holland carrying a full house of people onboard. Or the Olympic doping scandal. The question is this: why do Russians insist on behaving so idiotically on the international stage?
It seems very clear that as long as the present government is running things -- in other words, for the next six years at least -- we must accept this dark and malevolent Soviet-style version of ‘Alice in Wonderland’ -- in which everyone outside of Russia is seen as the enemy.

Putin’s big speech recently highlighted this narrow and dangerous vision to the fullest extent. Over half of his presentation -- complete with power-point graphs and charts -- was to show the military (nuclear, that is) might of Russia. Only some obligatory lip service -- lips behind which there are no teeth -- was given to a parade of ”Oh--by--the-way” topics as education, health care, jobs, and the future of the Russian people.
The whole idea is that everyone else is to blame for Russia’s problems except Russia itself, and the answer to this is….more nuclear weapons. Which is not to exonerate the West either. I have exhausted many words and hours in previous blogs denouncing the things I despise about the West. Yet, with the passage of time, the windshield wipers of experience have revealed to me the sad truth about Russia: It is a nation mired in out-moded traditions of iron autocracy ruling over multitudinous minions characterized only by docility and passivity.

Keep showing old war films, invite the Orthodox Church into your bed, and blame the West for everything; appoint a mayor who will bust the bank in order to create ONE SINGLE megapolis of such grandeur that other cities across the country can only drool over….in other words, do it with mirrors as long as possible, try to fool the world as well as your own countrymen, feed them a steady diet of patriotism, and, above all, STAY IN POWER. That is the creed of the present government. And, who knows, maybe it is for the best. Aside from a small educated class, the truth appears to be that Russians would rather be told what to do by their government than choose for themselves their own options.
The so-called election itself -- which we understand amounts to nothing more than a coronation -- is all we need in order to perceive the true nature of political life in Russia. Frankly, it amuses me to look at First Channel every evening (yes, my wife and I watch the Russian channels and news from here in Bliznatsi), and see people like Ksenia Sobchak pretending to take themselves seriously. A far cry from the real bloodletting that goes on during the American primary campaign trail when the rams and the lambs are separated in earnest.

The American primaries revealed the legitimacy of Donald Trump, and this was long before anybody accused the Russians of meddling. The Libtards can scream all they want, but Trump is as American as apple pie. He was not born poor, but basically, he is a self-made man. He won fair and square, and if they don’t like him they can vote him out next time. Putin, on the other hand, was handpicked for the job, and his whole career has been about surviving within the job. He will be there until he dies, and nothing will change in Russia. (Not that much ever has). So the ‘election’ is a farce.
It represents a great sadness to me that Russia remains mired -- partly through bad government but largely because most Russian people apparently want it that way -- in a kind of backward mentality that is sure to fail long-term -- no matter how much propaganda is used to justify it or how many band-aids are applied to stem the blood of a thousand cuts.
Meanwhile, let’s return to what is really important: football. Will we see a classic match of England versus Russia late this summer? Will the ‘’ultras’ be out there kicking ass or will the government (as promised) shut them down to keep up appearances? This summer should be a riot in more ways than one (my preference is for the humorous interpretation of the word), and, from a safe distance, I will be watching.

But I would suggest two things: from Putin’s standpoint, I think that he should seriously consider Ksenia Sobchak’s proposal to legalize marijuana in Russia. In case he doesn’t realize it, “weed” produces the kind of passivity among users that our president can only dream about. People who smoke marijuana enjoy endless philosophical conversations which they can’t remember five minutes later and they like to eat a lot of things like doughnuts. In America, stoners with what was called the “marijuana munchies” turned the company “Dunkin’ Donuts’ into a worldwide brand. Universal use of marijuana among the Russian populace would keep the KGB in power for another 20 years, I assure you.

My second suggestion would be to lift the ban on performance-enhancing drugs for the England-Russia football match, should it ever come off (which is highly doubtful). I say this because both of these teams are so terrible that all possible measures to bring them to sufficient life to actually produce a decent football competition should be considered. If not, maybe radioactive poison should be considered for both units of overpaid bums in the event of a boring 0-0 draw.

I hope that I have thus contributed to the immediate future of Russia by virtue of these long-considered and heartfelt ideas. Thank you for your time.

===Eric Richard Leroy===
Мнение автора может не совпадать с мнением владельца блога.

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